After forty years of isolation, fatherhood forces me beyond the walls I built. One visit to a kiddie pool reveals just how profoundly Sara is changing my life.
Category: Dad Thoughts
Is Sara an Antisemitic Ukrainian? | One Baby, One Exhausted Dad, and a Sinister Plan to Deprive Him of Sleep, Break His Back, and Publicly Humiliate Him by Screaming
An exhausted single father begins to suspect that his nine-month-old daughter, Sara, is carrying out a carefully planned operation involving sleep deprivation, a broken back, and public humiliation through screaming. A darkly comic story about sleepless nights, a strong-willed baby, and one father who knows exactly who holds all the cards.
Since October 7: How Fatherhood Changed the Way I See Israel’s Darkest Day
Since Sara was born, October 7 is no longer just a national tragedy in my eyes. It has become a father’s deepest fear. In this post, I reflect on how parenthood changed the way I think about that terrible day, the babies who were harmed, and the parents who faced the unimaginable. This is a deeply personal story about fatherhood, love, fear, trauma, and the struggle to comprehend a reality that no parent should ever have to endure.
Unconditional Love: The Unexpected Challenge of Being My Daughter’s Favorite Person
For most of my life, I dreamed of experiencing unconditional love. After a long and exhausting four-year surrogacy journey, I finally became a father at the age of 52, and my daughter Sara brought into my life a love unlike anything I had ever known.
But as our bond grew stronger, I began to discover an unexpected challenge. Sara’s attachment to me became so intense that she often rejected the company of other people who loved her deeply—especially her grandmother, who adores her more than anyone else in the world.
In this deeply personal reflection, I explore the joy, responsibility, and difficult questions that come with being a single father, and the realization that sometimes the greatest act of love is helping a child learn to let go.
A Lesser Child of GOD | How Sara Changed My Relationship with God, Faith, and Myself
For years, I blamed God for everything that was missing from my life—my failures, my loneliness, and the feeling that no matter how hard I tried, my prayers went unanswered. As my frustration grew, I abandoned traditional prayer and replaced it with daily conversations with God, hoping He would eventually listen.
Everything changed when I began my surrogacy journey. For the first time, my prayers were no longer about me. They were about the child I longed to bring into the world. During four years of waiting, I prayed for a healthy baby, a safe birth, and the chance to become the father she deserved.
When Sara was finally born, healthy and unmistakably my daughter, something inside me changed. For the first time in my life, I felt that my most important prayer had been answered. Since then, prayer has become a daily ritual, gratitude has replaced resentment, and fatherhood has given me a sense of purpose, belonging, and love that I never thought possible.
I am no longer a lesser child of God.
To Change: How My Daughter Sara Pulled Me Out of a Lifetime of Isolation
For most of my life, I lived in almost complete isolation. I avoided people, family gatherings, emotional connection, and built a quiet world for myself behind four walls. Then, at 52 years old, I decided to become a father.
In this deeply personal post, I share how the birth of my daughter Sara forced me to confront a lifetime of loneliness and emotional detachment, and slowly transform into someone completely different — not for myself, but for her.
This is a story about isolation, family, late fatherhood, and the incredible power a child can have to pull someone back into the world.
Between a Nightmare and Reality | A Dream About Blood, a Memory from Surgery, and the Strain of Single Fatherhood at 52
A disturbing nightmare in which I was urinating and spitting blood continues to trouble me weeks after I woke up. Trying to understand its meaning leads me to an old physical memory from a surgery I once underwent—and to deeper reflections about the emotional weight and responsibility of being a 52-year-old single father to a six-month-old baby. Somewhere between dream and reality, I try to understand what my body and mind might be telling me—and find the strength to keep going, for Sara.
Violence Between Children – Every Parent’s Nightmare | A Father’s Thoughts at the Playground
A violent argument between two young girls at a neighborhood playground unexpectedly stirs deep memories from my own childhood and raises troubling questions about parenting. Watching the scene unfold beside my infant daughter, Sara, I find myself confronting every parent’s fear: will my child one day become a victim of violence—or could she become the one who causes it?
Sara Cast as John Lennon | A Single Father, 52 Years of Loneliness and the Surprising Discovery of Love
After 52 years of emotional isolation and a life largely disconnected from the world, I became a single father through surrogacy. Sarah’s birth forced me to confront everything I had spent a lifetime avoiding — love, emotion, responsibility, and connection. In an unexpected way, she ended up teaching me the same simple truth John Lennon once shared with the world: All you need is love.
What Is Love? | A Single Father’s Answer After 52 Years Without It
For most of my life, love was something I felt disconnected from. When I decided to become a father through surrogacy at the age of forty-eight, I was forced to confront a question I had avoided for decades: was I even capable of love? Six months after my daughter Sara was born, I am beginning to understand the answer.
